By M Allen Fritsch
First Published in American Thinker on 10/31/12
#10 Lure kids to the house with the promise of “shovel ready” candy.
#9 Incite “trick-or-treaters” to violence by posting videos on YouTube denigrating Halloween.
#8 Hand out 1st lady baby carrots and low-fat ranch dressing instead of candy.
#7 Hand out “ObamaPhones” along with the candy (Ohio only).
#6 Don’t give out any candy, but tell the kids, “Hey, you can stay on your parent’s health insurance until age 26. What else do you want?”
#5 Scare the kids by saying, “I see rich people.”
#4 Don’t give out any of your own candy; rather, indignantly dictate how much candy your neighbors should be giving out.
#3 Check the bags of all trick-or-treaters and redistribute as needed to “spread the wealth around.”
#2 Don’t compliment especially good costumes. Instead, remind the kids that “they didn’t make that…somebody else made that.”
#1 If you run out of candy, blame it on the previous homeowner.
M. Allen Fritsch is an entrepreneur and business owner. He is a graduate of the United States Military Academy and a former Army officer. The scariest thing he can think of for this Halloween is “four more years” of an Obama administration.